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Smashed (October 17, 2001) Written by: Drew Z. Greenberg Directed by: Turi Meyer | ||||
| Teaser | ||||
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EXT. SUNNYDALE ALLEY - NIGHT
A fiftysomething MARRIED COUPLE standing next to each other against a
brick wall as two SHADOWY FIGURES stand before them.
I'm sure we can work something out. WOMAN BUFFY (O.S.) Everyone turns to see BUFFY standing calmly behind them.
(mock embarrassment) Oh. You weren't really speaking to me, were you? My bad. Well, as long as I'm here... She runs at the shadowy figures, kicking one of them in the knees, knocking him into the light. He's human.
Wow. Staggering back, he drops the woman's purse.
A mugging. Haven't gotten one of those for a while. Usually it's blood, and with the horror... She reaches down for the purse.
Just a good old-fashioned mugging. Kind of sweet, actually. (to the couple) Well probably not for you. (gives them purse) Here. Go. Now. They take the purse and hurry off. The downed mugger jumps up, charges Buffy. Buffy sidesteps, catches his arm, twists it behind his back. He winces. The other mugger crouches, unsure what to do.
Not too sweet for you, either, I guess. But come on, rush me. It'll be funny. With a ferocious growl, SPIKE lunges out of the shadows behind Buffy toward the remaining mugger, tackling him.
(cont'd) No! Spike rolls off in pain, careening into a stack of crates, which falls on Buffy and her mugger. Buffy releases him, both muggers race off into the night.
Ow! Buffy dusts herself off.
What the hell is wrong with you? SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE She stops, turns to face him, enough with the fun
Spike. It's late. Can we finish this another time? He moves in close, trying to be seductive.
Wanna jump right to the kissing then, eh? BUFFY SPIKE Buffy stares him down
(quietly) But not again. She walks away. Spike calls after her
You're a tease, Slayer. Know that? Get a fella's motor revvin', let the tension marinate a couple of days, then -bam! Crown yourself the Ice Queen. BUFFY SPIKE INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE -WILLOW'S ROOM - NIGHT WILLOW. Alone. She leans out into the hallway. Quiet. She walks back into the room. She looks at the bed. Empty. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE -DAWN'S ROOM -CONTINUOUS Willow silently pushes Dawn's bedroom door open. DAWN'S in bed, asleep. Willow gently shuts the door, heads back in. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE -WILLOW'S ROOM -CONTINUOUS Willow goes to the window, looks out into the night. Silent. Across the room: scratching. Willow approaches AMY THE RAT.
Aw, whatsa matter, Amy? You lonely? We gotta get you a nice companion rat that you can love and play with and grow attached to 'til it leaves you for no good reason. Won't that be fun? The rat scratches a bit on its cage.
(cont'd) Relax - I'm joking. Willow looks around the room, but keeps talking to the rat.
Amy, I swear, if I could find a way to bring you back... Willow turns back to look at the rat.
Any way. She closes her eyes, whispers in Italian:
A faded, tattered parchment appears on the desk. Willow opens her eyes, smiles, picks it up. She reads in Italian:
And AMY --the real, live, human, not-ratted, young woman -- appears, naked and dazed. Willow, proud of herself, grins. Amy screams.
BLACK OUT.
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| Act One | ||||
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INT. SUNNYDALE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY -
NIGHT
ANDREW, dressed in black t-shirt, black pants, and soft, soundless
black shoes, descends upside-down from the ceiling, suspended by taut,
Mission: Impossible-type cables.
In fact, he's got the whole Tom Cruise look down pretty well:
wire-rimmed glasses, earpiece with microphone, even a penlight tucked
behind his ear.
He comes to a stop, hanging suspended before a GLASS CASE which
displays a glittering, golfball-sized-DIAMOND.
Andrew pulls a small GIZMO from his bag (all wires and digital displays
and metal parts) and prepares to delicately attach it to the glass.
When WARREN and JONATHAN just walk into frame behind him
Dude, what are you doing? JONATHAN ANDREW WARREN Warren gives a still-suspended Andrew a good spin, sending him somersaulting in mid-air.
(cont'd) Now get up. Andrew untangles himself from the cables and collects himself. As he stands, he gets woozy and wobbles a little.
Whoa, head rush. (beat) Cool. WARREN Warren goes to the display case with Andrew's equipment, pulls it off and tosses it to Andrew, who catches it hard.
Quit jerkin' around. He crouches in front of the case, and we see a large tank on his back. He pulls from his pocket a slim blowtorch, connected to the tank. He aims it at the glass and fires.
See? That's cool. How come he gets to play with all the cool stuff? JONATHAN ANDREW JONATHAN Warren shuts off the blowtorch.
Got it! He reaches into the case and pulls out the diamond.
It's beautiful. WARREN RUSTY (O.S.) We see RUSTY, late 50s, security guard uniform, not exactly in prime condition, standing in the doorway.
Oh, we were with a tour group, the get the freeze ray group. Must have gotten separated. RUSTY WARREN Warren turns to Jonathan and silently widens his eyes, making Are-You-Gonna-Do-Something-Or-What face. Jonathan motions back -- one second -- as he and Andrew silently fumble with something out of frame. Warren turns back to Rusty.
'Cause we love the learnin' ... (reading name tag) "Rusty. " Museums, libraries... Disney Hall of Presidents. Not boring. But, more to the point: Goodbye. Warren steps aside and Jonathan pulls up into frame a LARGE, INTIMIDATING FREEZE RAY GUN. He pulls the trigger, it fires at Rusty, who instantly freezes (in an icy, frosty way).
Dude, that is so cool! ANDREW JONATHAN We see that the gun --and Jonathan's entire forearm --have also been frozen.
Okay, so there's a kink of two. It's just a prototype, soon we'll have -- JONATHAN WARREN JONATHAN WARREN As they go...
Is he gonna, like --? WARREN ANDREW WARREN They leave INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - WILLOW'S ROOM - NIGHT Amy sits on the bed, dressed, her movements quick, twitchy. Willow enters carrying a mug. Amy jumps a little.
Hey, here's some hot chocolate, you want -- Amy shakes her head.
Mmmm-mmm. No, thanks. Still kinda queasy. Willow sets the mug down on the night stand. WILLOW Outside, a siren goes by. Amy's eyes dart to the open window. She makes a quick hand movement, and it slams shut.
Hey, it's just -- Amy makes another hand movement, the drapes shut
-- a siren. It's all right. She sits at the edge of the bed.
Okay? You okay? Amy looks away from the window.
Mmmm-hmmmm. Yeah. Just, you know. Everything feels weird. She looks at Willow.
I mean, it's like, I felt like I was in that cage for weeks. Uh-oh. Willow just purses her lips, not sure what to say.
But it can still be okay. Right? I can get in the swing of things. Like ...prom's coming up. I am so hoping Larry will ask me. We could make such a splash if - oh. Oh God. He hasn't asked anyone else, has he? Amy searches Willow's eyes for some good news. Willow, mighty uncomfortable, braces herself:
(gentle) Amy. Three things we have to talk about. One, Larry's gay. Two, Larry's dead. Three, high school's... kind of over. Amy pulls back a little, staring at Willow.
How long was I in the cage? WILLOW AMY INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - FOYER - LATER Buffy shuts the door behind her, leans against it. Keeping out the night. She looks up the stairs. Makes up her mind.
(Whispering) Willow? She moves to the stairs. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - WILLOW'S ROOM - NIGHT Buffy pokes her head in. Willow turns to face her
Hey. How you doing? WILLOW Buffy comes in.
Yeah? WILLOW Buffy nods. Thinks. Then says:
Will. Can I talk to you about something? WILLOW BUFFY WILLOW BUFFY The door opens and Amy walks in again, looking queasy.
Oh! Tara, I didn't -- (beat) Oh. Amy. AMY Willow nods.
By a giant snake-thing. (nodding) Still adjusting. Hey, Buffy. Buffy stares, looks to Willow, then back to Amy
Hi. Buffy manages a confused smile. Not sure what to say, so:
How've you been? AMY BUFFY AMY A beat as they take in the reunion. Then:
Well, I should let you guys catch up, I'll just -- AMY BUFFY AMY BUFFY AMY BUFFY AMY She walks to the door and leaves without another word.
Wow. WILLOW BUFFY WILLOW BUFFY WILLOW She shrugs.
It's nice, having another magically- inclined friend around. Buffy says nothing to that, but notices
So what were you going to tell me? You were sounding all serious. BUFFY She heads out. Buffy comes down the stairs to find Amy curled up on the couch, watching TV with a plate of cookies.
How you doin', you need anything? AMY There's a pause as Amy considers what to say next.
I'm sorry about your mom. BUFFY AMY BUFFY AMY BUFFY AMY Amy nods toward the TV news, then shakes her head.
People getting frozen, Willow's dating girls, and did you know about Tom and Nicole? But Buffy's stuck on that first one
Wait...people getting... Buffy picks up the remote, flips to another news station.
(On screen) --in critical yet stable condition, as local authorities continue their investigation into the robbery that left one man frozen solid. Live from the Museum, Jason Manning, KCTV. AMY Buffy stares at the screen, realizing her night just got busy EXT. SUNNYDALE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY -NIGHT A crowd. Yellow police tape. And Buffy, trying to see over the tops of the very, very tall people in front of her.
If I could just -- I need to -- She tries jumping repeatedly. She finds an opening, pushes her way through just as police officers wheel Frozen Rusty down the many steps of the museum entrance on a dolly. Buffy quickly scans the area, looking for a way in. Yellow tape is everywhere, but she spies a side door. She moves away from the crowd, heading to the side when: She runs smack into Spike
Great... SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE Buffy walks away, toward the side entrance. Spike follows.
You know, as long as we're both here, you might as well tag along. I mean, as a team, we could -- Buffy snorts.
Yeah, that never really seems to end well, does it? SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY She stops for a moment, then tries a gentler approach.
Listen, I'm sorry if you thought... there was more. SPIKE BUFFY Spike looks genuinely stunned at that. Then:
You know, I always wondered about you two. BUFFY A beat as Spike sizes her up, then:
Did it work? BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY She turns to walk away, and he follows
A man can change. BUFFY He grabs her by the shoulder.
Stop walking away -- BUFFY She wheels around and slugs him. Instinctively, he hits her back. She falls, he braces himself for the inevitable chip- induced pain. But it doesn't come. He turns from her, hiding his face, on which we can see how perplexed he is. He doubles over, pretending to be in pain.
(faking it) Owww. Owwww. Buffy gets up, walks to Spike and punches him hard across the face. He goes sprawling. She stands over him.
You're just a thing. An evil, disgusting thing. All right? She walks away, leaving Spike alone, confused, shocked... And then a grin crosses his face...
BLACK OUT.
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| Act Two | ||||
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EXT. SUNNYDALE STREET - NIGHT
Spike wanders down the street, giddy, almost weaving with excitement.
He's been freed, a vampire on the prowl.
As various Sunnydale citizens rush past him, or window shop, or wait on
line at the movie theater, Spike cackles.
Look at all the goodies. Across the street, an INNOCENT GIRL cuts into an alleyway. He smiles, crosses the street... EXT. SUNNYDALE ALLEY - NIGHT The girl walks through the shadows, alone, seeming to sense foreboding. Hi, I'm Schmucky, I'll be your bait this evening. Spike steps out of the shadows in front of her. She screams.
That's right, you should scream. She tries to run, he runs around, blocks her path. She has nowhere to run. He points to his own chest.
Creature of the night right here, yeah? Some people forget that. INNOCENT GIRL SPIKE INNOCENT GIRL SPIKE He paces.
I know what I am. I'm dangerous. I'm evil. He has the girl backed up against the wall now
I -- I'm sure you're not evil. Spike stops, looks at her.
Yes, I am. I'm a killer. That's what I do. I kill. The girl starts to cry. Spike keeps talking.
And, yeah, maybe it's been a little while, but it's not like you forget how. He kind of shakes his head, bringing himself back.
You just... do it. And now I can. Again. All right? So here we go. He vamps and looks at the girl.
This might hurt a little. He reaches in to bite her, but then -- BAM! -- he recoils in pain, falling to the ground.
Aaauuugggghhh!!! The girl takes off. Spike looks as confused as hurt.
What the hell's goin' on? EXT. CAFE - DAY (DAY 2) TARA and Dawn each sit behind a giant milk shake.
Good God, that's a lot of shake. Dawn slurps on her straw with abandon.
I mean, I know, big part of our day of Movie and milk shake Fun Day, but... (staring warily) Good God, that's a lot of shake. Dawn takes a break from slurping.
Helps to wash down the Raisinets. She slurps some more.
Promise me you'll eat something green tonight. Leafy green, not gummi green. Dawn nods as she slurps.
Movie was fun. DAWN TARA Dawn stops mid-slurp.
There was actually more of a lead-in when I practiced that at home. DAWN TARA DAWN They sit in silence for a beat, contemplating. Then:
Do you think you'll ever get back together? TARA DAWN TARA DAWN Tara works now to hold it together in front of Dawn
You know what's important is that you don't ever have to worry. Our stuff is our stuff, but it never touches you. We both love you, and we both will always love you. DAWN As Dawn goes back to slurping, Tara sizes her up, trying to gauge how much she knows.
Well, good. Great. That's great. INT. MAGIC BOX - DAY Willow, XANDER and Buffy look through newspapers. ANYA looks through the bookcases. [Note: Buffy has on the skirt she'll wear for the rest of the episode. See Episode Ten.]
Here. Says the guard's definitely gonna live. XANDER Willow keeps reading.
Everything slowed down, nervous system, circulatory system. He's still unconscious. Anya, still searching the bookcase, makes a frustrated noise. Buffy looks over at her.
Anya? ANYA BUFFY WILLOW The others share a look.
Magic? I don't think we need to resort to -- Willow pulls out a laptop from her bag, sets it on the table.
Oh. Hey. Cool. XANDER BUFFY Willow places her hands on the keyboard, where they SINK INTO THE SURFACE. The keyboard glows faintly as she absorbs information directly from it.
(weakly) Don't remember that part. WILLOW She goes quiet for a minute, reading what's in her brain. Anya approaches, joins the others in staring at Willow.
Okay. Internal police reports. A diamond was stolen last night from the museum. Her eyes dart back and forth as she reads. Internally.
A big diamond. On loan from the British Museum. They're withholding the info to smoke out the bad guys. Ooh, pretty. (explaining) There's a picture. BUFFY ANYA WILLOW XANDER Willow breaks her concentration, looks at Buffy and Xander.
Guys, I'm fine, really. What's the deal with -- ANYA WILLOW No one seems convinced
The time apart is gonna help us sort through that. Really. Now let's keep working on this. I don't want to leave Amy alone in the house so long. The others accept the change of topic, letting Willow off the hook.
Amy. Is she... how is she adjusting? WILLOW BUFFY INT. UNDERGROUND LAIR - NIGHT The lair. Some robot-parts and various techy looking scanners and scopes are arranged prominently. Warren, Jonathan and Andrew are gathered 'round the diamond:
I didn't know it'd be so sparkly. ANDREW WARREN ANDREW Warren and Jonathan look at him. Then:
All right, guys, we finished the first part. It's time for Phase Two. He heads for the door. Jonathan and Andrew follow
Is the van fired up? JONATHAN The door SLAMS open, and Spike enters, striding right up to Warren. Without touching him, Spike corners Warren against the wall, hands threateningly on either side of his head.
Hey! ANDREW Spike knocks gently but threateningly on Warren's head.
Knock, knock Robot-Boy. Need you to look at my chip. JONATHAN Spike seems to notice Jonathan and Andrew for the first time.
In my head. The chip in my head. He releases Warren, who tries to regain his composure.
You know, we're kind of in the middle of something. SPIKE WARREN Spike grabs a Boba Fett action figure from a nearby shelf.
Examine my chip or else Mr. -- He looks over at the stand on which the figure stood.
-- Fett here is the first to die. He grabs the figure's head as if about to tear it off.
Hey, all right, let's not, let's not do anything crazy... ANDREW Warren steps forward, all hostage-negotiator
All right, dude, chill. You can still make it right. You know you don't wanna do this. SPIKE WARREN SPIKE Warren and Spike lock eyes. A beat.
A second. Warren pulls Jonathan and Andrew aside.
Dudes! I think that's Spike! JONATHAN WARREN JONATHAN WARREN ANDREW WARREN He looks from Jonathan to Andrew and back again.
And I think we're ready. Agreed? A beat as Jonathan thinks.
Agreed. They both turn to Andrew. Andrew looks over at Spike. SPIKE Casually flips the Fett in the air, catches it BACK TO ANDREW
Do what you need to do. Warren walks over to Spike
I think we can work something out. I'll look at your chip. It'll be a deal. We scratch your back, you scratch -- He stops and finds Spike close up and in his face, sneering.
I'm not scratching your anything. You do what I say. That's the deal. Deal? WARREN SPIKE Spike leaves the room with Warren, tossing the figure to Andrew. Hard. Andrew examines it frantically.
(to Jonathan) It's okay. It's okay. It's gonna be fine. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Willow enters, trying not to disturb Amy... who's not there.
Amy...? Amy emerges from the kitchen, clearly restless.
God, you're back, I thought you said you wouldn't be gone that long. WILLOW AMY WILLOW AMY WILLOW AMY WILLOW AMY WILLOW AMY WILLOW AMY Willow thinks for a moment.
Or maybe, I don't know, you'd rather sit at home all night. Alone. Like in high school. Willow turns to Amy.
No. No, you know what? I can have fun. Heck, I deserve some fun. AMY WILLOW Amy grins, happy to get out of the house, and they leave. INT. UNDERGROUND LAIR - OTHER ROOM - NIGHT On Spike, laying on a makeshift examining table, as Warren slowly runs a piece of serious-looking equipment over him.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. UNDERGROUND LAIR - NIGHT Spike, Andrew, Jonathan. On bean bag chairs. Silent. Awkward. Staring. Andrew and Jonathan try to look casual, but Boba Fett sits close by. Andrew tries breaking the ice:
You're English, right? Spike squints.
Yeah. Silence for another beat, then:
I've seen every episode of Doctor Who. Spike just stares at Andrew blankly.
Not Red Dwarf though, 'cause, um -- JONATHAN ANDREW Spike continues to stare. Blank. Unmoved. Then:
(yelling) Warren! Warren enters with a sheath of papers, freshly ink-jetted.
Here, here I am, got 'em. SPIKE Warren shoves the papers in front of Spike, who looks at them for a moment then slowly pushes them away.
Help me out here, Spock, I don't speak Loser. WARREN Spike just stares. That was not the answer he expected.
Well, there's gotta be something -- WARREN Spike snarls at him, and Warren takes a defensive step back.
But, whatever it is, it's fine. No deterioration of the signal, still coming through in a steady pulse. Spike stares.
Which it's supposed to. SPIKE WARREN He shoves the papers back at Spike
I mean, it is. It's not that hard to figure out, see, if you just -- Spike turns away, realization crossing his face.
What? Spike turns back to him, getting back in his face.
You tell anyone about this -- WARREN SPIKE Spike moves to the stairs. As he climbs the stairs, he starts to smile:
(to himself) Nothing wrong with me. (with relish) Something wrong with her. OMITTED
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| Act Three | ||||
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INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Dawn rushes in, closely followed by a wary Tara.
Hello! We're home! TARA Dawn heads into the living room and parks herself on the couch.
Well, they'll be back soon. I know Willow and Buffy were meeting up with Xander to do some research. TARA DAWN TARA Dawn clicks on the TV, feigning nonchalance.
Okay, your call. I've got the TV to keep me company till they get back. Tara hesitates.
You notice how it's been getting dark so much earlier these days? She focuses on the TV as Tara looks out the window into the dark, dark night. Raucous laughter from the TV.
Ha! Talking cat... Tara smirks, knowing exactly what Dawn's doing.
Fine, I'll stay, but just till they get back. Dawn smiles and keeps watching TV.
And only to make sure you're not alone, this doesn't have anything to do with... anyone else. DAWN INT. BRONZE - NIGHT ON WILLOW as she leans over the pool table.
I know. Xander engaged. I couldn't believe it either. Willow studies the table, preparing for her next shot
It's weird. What's she like? WILLOW We see Willow holds no cue. She stares at the table, the cue ball fires across on its own to CRACK into the other balls.
Well that's so his type. Willow lines up her next shot. RYAN and SIMON, two clean-cut college boys, approach.
Hey. WILLOW AMY Willow looks across at Amy, who's suddenly enthralled by the two young men. Ryan whispers in Amy's ear, she giggles.
Well, let's go then. Amy turns to Willow.
We're gonna go dance. Wanna come? WILLOW AMY Amy glances around, spots what she's looking for. SHIRLEY, an incredibly hot girl, sits with an equally BEAUTIFUL WOMAN at the bar. They're engaged in intimate conversation, Shirley's hand rests amorously on the woman's arm.
...I think we can swing that. Amy snaps her fingers, creating magical sparks. Shirley suddenly turns to Willow, the beautiful woman forgotten.
No, really, I'm -- Too late. Shirley sashays up, all hips and hungry smiles.
Hi. Shirley. She extends her hand. Willow takes it awkwardly. Shirley doesn't let go.
Willow. Nice, um, dress. (to Amy) Thanks, but -- no. AMY WILLOW AMY Amy snaps her fingers again. More sparks. Shirley blinks, confused.
Oh, I'm --uh, sorry, I... She smiles awkwardly and heads back to her beautiful and understandably pissed girlfriend.
So are we going to -- He hooks a thumb towards the dance floor
Yeah. (to Willow) You sure you're okay? WILLOW Amy laughs as Ryan and Simon pull her out onto the dance floor. Willow watches as they bump and grind. Sadness creeps into her eyes.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. BRONZE - NIGHT Willow is sitting at the bar nursing a drink. It's obvious she's been there awhile. She eyes an olive on a toothpick. The pimento looks like it's staring back.
No use looking at me like that. It's the gullet for you, mister. She pops it in her mouth. Amy comes up, laughing and breathless.
Hey. Sorry, got kinda caught up.
(delighted she's back) No, s'okay. AMY Ryan and Simon come up.
Come on. We're just getting started. AMY SIMON He starts pulling her towards the dance floor.
Hey! WILLOW RYAN Beat. The girls look at each other.
You wanna dance. RYAN They both make the tiniest hand movement, and POOF! Ryan and Simon suddenly find themselves suspended just above the barin go-go dancing cages. Each is dressed in a skimpy go-go boy outfit, and each finds himself dancing.
Gee. AMY WILLOW Amy and Willow share the tiniest, barely-devious smile INT. SPIKE'S CRYPT - DOWNSTAIRS - NIGHT Spike moves about the room. Organized. Preparing. From a chest of drawers, he pulls out a stun gun, fires it a couple times to make sure it works. Sets in on a table. From a trunk at the foot of the bed, he brings out a coil of rope, pulling it tight. Puts it on the table, too. He rustles some more in the trunk, reveals a set of chains. And a handful of padlocks. And a pair of handcuffs. On the table. He rummages through a stack of records, finds just what he's looking for: an LP of Roxy Music's Avalon. He pops it on a dusty old turntable. He lights some candles, sets a bouquet of flowers in a vase, sprinkles rose petals on the bed. He looks around, taking in his handiwork, then lets out a long, contented sigh.
There. All ready. He lets his eyes sweep the room once more, a final look, then
CUT TO:
EXT. GRAVEYARD - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT Spike runs from his crypt, excited, determined focused. EXT. ANOTHER PART OF THE GRAVEYARD - NIGHT (LATER) Spike running much slower, winded. He eases up, starts walking. EXT. SUNNYDALE STREET - NIGHT Spike gets to a pay phone, exhausted but still determined.
Now at last, Buffy, you will come to me, and your destiny wi -- wait. He searches his pockets -- all of them.
Coulda sworn I brought change. He keeps searching. Nothing. He checks the coin return slot on the phone. Empty.
Oh, balls. And he runs back from whence he came, frustrated. INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT
Ah ha! I got it! Here's our villain right here. He sits with Buffy and Anya in the deserted shop, surrounded by thumbed-through texts, holding one of them open, pointing. Anya and Buffy look at the open page, then return to their own books.
What? ANYA XANDER ANYA BUFFY She closes her book. Feeling lame.
We suck. XANDER BUFFY ANYA BUFFY XANDER BUFFY ANYA BUFFY ANYA Buffy starts taking this personally:
That's not true- ANYA XANDER ANYA XANDER BUFFY The phone rings. Buffy starts. Then jumps up to get it
(into the phone) Hello? We intercut with Spike on the pay phone. Trying to be menacing.
Slayer. BUFFY SPIKE A beat.
Spike? Spike loses his menace.
Bloody hell, yes, it's me. BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE She misinterprets, wants to pretend she doesn't feel it, but she can't help it: it's definitely getting warm in here.
What? No! No grunting. SPIKE Buffy snaps out of it, abruptly hangs up on Spike. She looks at Xander and Anya - distracted, flustered.
What did Captain Peroxide want? BUFFY EXT. MAGIC BOX - LATER As Buffy, Xander and Anya leave for the night
I'm telling you, I think there's just something about this thing. XANDER ANYA XANDER BUFFY XANDER BUFFY ANYA BUFFY They all sort of stare out into the night, thinking.
I dunno. I'll do a quick patrol, then, tomorrow, after a good night's sleep, we solve this. ANYA XANDER BUFFY XANDER Xander and Anya head toward home, Buffy goes off the other way to patrol. She gets about ten feet before Spike steps out of the shadows.
Slayer. BUFFY Spike begins to circle her, menacing.
You never showed. BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY He moves in closer.
I'm just saying, things might be a little different now. You oughta be careful. Buffy tries to get around him, but he won't let her pass.
Enough! Enough, move. SPIKE She punches him in the face. He doesn't fall, he doesn't back up. He slowly turns back to her. Getting pissed. And he punches her right back.
Ohh, the pain, the pain... is gone. Her eyes wide, Buffy faces Spike, realizing the threat he now represents.
Guess what I just found out. Buffy is horrified, knowing what he's about to say before he ever even gets there.
Looks like I'm not as toothless as you thought, sweetheart. BUFFY SPIKE He smiles at her, cruelly.
You came back wrong.
BLACK OUT
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| Act Four | ||||
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EXT. SUNNYDALE STREET - NIGHT
Buffy advances, punching and kicking Spike down the street, eventually
taking them in front of
EXT. CONDEMNED HOUSE - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
Dilapidated. Complete with signs taped to the front door. Spike
casually and easily matches Buffy, punching right back.
It's a trick. You did something to the chip, it's a trick. SPIKE He slaps her -- hard and repeatedly -- just to be annoying.
It's just you, that's the funny part. You're the one who changed, that's why this doesn't hurt me. Buffy backs up. Spike gloats.
Came back a little less human than you were. Using the distance, Buffy kicks Spike hard in the chest. He flies up against the wall of the house, but never falls. He rushes Buffy, she swings at him, he swings right back, connecting with her jaw.
See? Doesn't hurt. Buffy's pissed now, and she socks him in the jaw right back.
See? Yes it does. She throws punch after punch, wailing on Spike now, pushing him back, back, back toward the house... INT. BRONZE - NIGHT Things are definitely getting weird. We see Ryan and Simon, still dancing in their go-go cages Willow nods to the BOY BAND playing on the stage:
You know, this music --it's not quite... She waves her hand, and the boy band becomes a GIRL BAND. Willow and Amy turn their attention to the rest of the room: We see other young people dancing on tables, though they seem very much not to want to. Other people float helplessly in mid-air. Sheep suddenly run wild through the bar. Women find themselves adorned with intricate, Vegas-showgirl-style outfits. One guy slowly gets all tall and stretchy, the guy next to him slowly starts getting very small. Amy and Willow stand on the upper level, silently controlling everything. They turn from time to time, covering all 360 degrees of shenanigans. It's almost as if they're conducting a bizarre, visual orchestra with just their minds. And we see Willow's face: she's having more fun than she's had in a long, long time... INT. CONDEMNED HOUSE - NIGHT Buffy and Spike have taken the fight inside the unfurnished house. As they fight, they move from room to room. Buffy throws one hard punch that sends Spike sprawling into the bare dining room beneath a chandelier. He laughs.
Oh, poor little lost girl. He leaps into the air and grabs hold of the chandelier, swinging from it to kick Buffy square in the face. As she falls:
She doesn't fit in anywhere, she has no one to love. He jumps down (though the chandelier's wiring, we see, has weakened), but Buffy is quick to regain her footing; she slams him into the staircase.
Me? I'm lost? Look at you, you idiot. Poor Spikey. Can't be a human, can't be a vampire. Where the hell do you fit in? She's definitely gaining the upper hand, throwing him into the living room, against the brick fireplace.
Your job is to kill the Slayer, but all you do is follow me around, making moon-eyes -- SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE He throws her into a wall, punching a hole in it. He slams her to the floor, then pins her there. In her face:
What's your excuse? She grabs his face, pushes him, by sheer force of brute strength, off of herself. From where she is on the floor, she throws him against the opposite wall, then flies at him. INT. BRONZE - NIGHT Willow and Amy still on the second floor. A girl floats past behind them. Willow and Amy keep watching the room. After a beat:
We've kind of played this scene. AMY Willow sighs and waves her hand in front of her.
Return. The room calms down as everyone (including the go-go boys) return to their previous place and dress.
Forget. And they all go about the business of dancing, getting drinks and hitting on each other.
Wait, who am I? Willow looks at Amy in a panic.
Just messin' with ya. She keeps looking around the room, as if there's more to see.
So... should we go? AMY WILLOW AMY WILLOW AMY WILLOW Willow looks around.
I just keep thinking there's gotta be someplace, like, bigger than this. AMY WILLOW Amy grins.
Besides, it's way too early to go home yet. WILLOW AMY Willow grins back.
I do so love the trouble. They head for the door. OMITTED INT. CONDEMNED HOUSE - NIGHT Buffy kicks Spike into the living room wall, rushing to him to throw punches. He blocks them and laughs. She gets one in and so does he.
I wasn't planning to hurt you. Much. BUFFY SPIKE Spike pushes her back, leaps at her. She spins him into the dining room. She pins him against the wall. They breathe heavily, pressed up against each other. A stalemate.
Afraid I'm gonna -- She kisses him, hard, and as he kisses back, she punches the wall above them. The wall cracks and begins to crumble. Still liplocked, they spin away from the wall, slam into the opposite wall, Spike pressing Buffy against the plaster. It cracks, too. Buffy shoves Spike away and pushes off the wall. The crack there spreads up to the ceiling. Plaster falls. The chandelier wobbles. Buffy lands upright against Spike, pinning him to a post across the room. She kisses him desperately, angrily. Walls crumble. Shelving collapses. Shards of popped-out window glass crash to the floor. We're very close, framed above the waist. Still kissing, still standing, some fumbling going on out of frame, then: Buffy and Spike look at each other, both surprised. They start moving rhythmically. Fissures form in the wood floor. The chandelier comes crashing down, barely missing Spike and Buffy. They keep kissing, still rolling, moving in sync... The floor beneath them gives way, and they crash through to: INT.CONDEMNED HOUSE - BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS Amidst the rubble, Buffy is on top of Spike as they continue to kiss, continue to move with each other. They haven't slowed or missed a single beat. Everything around them continues to break, fall and crack...
BLACK OUT.
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