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Bargaining - Part 1 July 18, 2001 (White) Written by: Marti Noxon |
| Teaser |
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EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT Heavy breathing. Then we see a. HUGE VAMPIRE, like SUMO-SIZE, booking through the graveyard. Giving chase are TARA, SPIKE, AND GILES. Spike jumps out first, stops to wait for the heavily winded others. The vamp is gone.
Come on! I'm never gonna get anything killed with you lot holding me back!
(catching her breath) I thought ... the big ones tire more easily...
No, that's over-the-hill shopkeepers.
I'm fine. I just need to need to... die ... for a minute...
(to Tara) It was that powder you blew at him made him rabbit out.
It's Sobri root! It's supposed to confuse him but it kinda just made him peppy. It's not supposed to mix with anything -- do you think he might be taking prescription medication?
("you're an idiot") Yeah. That must be it.
(riffing) Good God. What if he attempts to operate heavy machinery?!
(also amused) We could all be--
Guys! Heads up! The voice comes from inside their heads. They all perk up instantly as we cut to: CRANE ARM UP TO REVEAL WILLOW, standing atop a crypt, surveying the graveyard like a general surveying a field of battle. From her vantage point she can see the vampire and Giles, Spike and Tara. Willow communicates TELEPATHICALLY until further notice.
The vampire's circling back towards you. Six o'clock. Try to drive him towards the Van Elton crypt. ON OUR GANG:
Van Elton?
Is that the one with the cute little gargoyle-- The vamp bursts back into the clearing. He stops, seeing them -- turns to run again but a crypt is behind him and he pauses a moment, deciding which way to go.
Left! Make him go left!
Well how-- Giles tosses a BATTLE AXE, which hits a tree on the vamp's right. The vamp RUNS LEFT as Willow commanded. ON RUNNING VAMP Who discovers that he's run into a DEAD END. There's fence on two sides and a crypt on the other. He reacts, confused. Then A FIST shoots out from behind the crypt. The vamp goes down. ON WILLOW Looking pleased. Strike. ON FALLEN VAMP As two leather-clad legs stand over the dazed vampire. REVEAL - BUFFY, looking very tough and very much alive.
Big, fast and dumb. Just the way I like 'em. Buffy kicks the fallen vamp, moves for her stake. But the vamp is on his feet before she can dust him - and he's pissed. Spike, Tara and Giles arrive just in time to see the vamp ATTACK BUFFY. They go at it, but this guy is an animal and Buffy's a little off her game. Now Spike, Tara and Giles also jump into the fray. The vamp easily throws Giles and Tara off him. ANOTHER ANGLE - XANDER & ANYA Hear the commotion.
Uh oh. Sounds like the other units are engaged... They start to run toward the noise. Then Xander hears Willow-
Xander, Anya - stop! He and Anya stop alright. And Xander looks like he's going to have a heart attack. He hisses in a HUSHED tone-
Great googely moogely Willow you've got to quit doing that!
I told you I was going to get the lay of the land-
But not the lay of my brain!
It is kind of intrusive. You could knock first or something.
Xander-
I know, I know. I don't have to talk when I answer you. But I saw The Fury and that way lies spooky carnival death-
Xander! Vampire. Other side of that tomb. You can get the jump on him if you go the other way. WITH WILLOW Where can see things from her vantage point. She's totally right. There's a vampire just waiting to ambush them. ON XANDER AND ANYA
Oh. Why didn't you just say so? Off Willow, who looks a little exasperated. BACK ON SPIKE, BUFFY, GILES AND TARA Who are still getting trashed by the SUMO-SIZE VAMP. Tara is just getting up as Sumo HURLS BUFFY over his head toward her. Tara doesn't see Buffy coming, but hears Willow telepathically-
Tara! DOWN! Tara ducks and Buffy goes SAILING over her head, crashing into a tombstone. Giles moves to strike the sumo vamp with his BATTLE AXE, but the sumo grabs the axe and drives Giles back with it - pushing him up against a crypt and using the axe handle to CHOKE GILES. Spike jumps on the big vamp's back and tries to pull him off Giles. But it's impossible. The vamp flings Spike off him. Spike lands on his feet - and stops fighting. Just watches as the vampire continues to CHOKE GILES WITH THE AXE HANDLE.
(breathless) S-Spike!
(to Spike) What are you doing!? Help him! Spike still just watches coolly. But now we see that THE SUMO VAMP is ON FIRE. SPIKE casually produces his LIGHTER, lights a cigarette.
I did. The VAMP SCREAMS and IMPLODES! Giles is covered in his ample dust. Annoyed, he turns on Spike-
You might have let me in on your plan while he throttled me.
Oooh. Poor watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? "Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea..." Spike is cut off as-
Guys! Help Xander and Anya! Over by Anderson's Tomb! ON XANDER AND ANYA Who are in mid-fight with the large vamp who
was hiding behind the crypt. Xander's in a headlock and Anya is trying in
vain to stake the vamp. As Spike, Giles, Tara and Buffy
I got it! Xander manages to get free while Buffy
engages the vamp. But again we see that Buffy isn't quite on it. She takes
a few brutal hits and Spike steps in, knocking the vampire back on
(to vamp) That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo! A beat as everybody takes this in. Huh? Willow jumps down from her observation perch, joins them. Spike nods to Buffy - looks at Willow.
What's with the Dadaism, Red?
Yeah. She says that pie thing every time she stakes a vamp now.
I don't know. I was trying to program in some new puns and I kind of ended up with word salad. The whole gang starts to move out of the graveyard...
(brightly) I think it's funny.
It's a glitch. I'll fix it.
We just can't have her messing up in front of the wrong person -- or the wrong thing. We need the world and the underworld -- to believe Buffy is alive and well.
And I will therefore fix it. I got her head back on, didn't I? And I got her off the knock knock jokes ...
Ooh! Who's there?
You know, if we want to be exactly--
She'll never be exactly. A sad beat.
I know.
The only really real Buffy - is really... Buffy.
And she's gone. Giles moves off. Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya all exchange glances - reacting to this hard fact.
(continuing the knock knock joke) If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone who? BLACK OUT.
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| Act One |
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INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - JOYCE'S BEDROOM - DAY CLOSE ON WILLOW
Where's my clog? I think there's a clog-eating monster under the bed. She sits up, revealing TARA, who is hanging up some clothes. We see that Joyce's bedroom has been transformed - it's clearly now the domain of Willow and Tara. Full of all kinds of cool lesbo/witch stuff.
It's really the lesser-known monsters that make living in Sunnydale so hard.
I believe that's a Dawn Monster. She borrowed them yesterday. Willow moves to Dawns door. Knocks.
Hey Dawn. Are you up? No answer. Willow opens the door and looks into Dawn's room. It's empty and messy. Willow starts for the hallway. Tara follows.
You doing okay?
Besides terror about today and a general feeling of impending doom? Swell.
Breakfast will make all things better.
Pancakes could go in bellies ... Willow kisses Tara quickly and moves into the... OMITTED INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - DAY Bangs on the bathroom door.
Dawny! Dawn opens the door. She's brushing her teeth.
Hey you. Today's the big day, huh? (off Dawn's nod) Kinda day makes you wanna return clogs, don't ya' think? Dawn shakes her head no.
(full toothpaste mouth) I md't tke mrrclgs! INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
Who is at the counter, spreading peanut butter and jelly on bread to make sandwiches. Behind her TARA now bustles around the kitchen preparing breakfast. Willow enters. Moves to Buffybot.
(to Buffybot) Morning. I was thinking we could go over your programming again...
(to Will) Again? You've done all you can, sweetie. She's either ready to face this thing or she's not- Now Dawn enters, dressed for school but looking sleepy. She sits at the counter. Tara moves to her.
Here's your juice, and pancakes are on the way. Funny shapes or rounds?
Rounds are fine. (then) What's up with the Mega-witches?
Oh, I don't know that we're "mega." Maybe Willow. But-
No, I mean, whose going to eat all that? Now we see that Buffybot has made about eight sandwiches and is still going strong.
Oh! Oops. She wanted to help. I got her started but then I forgot to un-start... Tara gently takes the sandwich stuff away from Buffybot. Now there's a quick knock on the door and Xander enters, with toolbox in hand. His cheerfulness is slightly forced.
(important voice) House o' chicks, relax. I'm a man and I have a tool! (sees Dawn) Tools. Lots of plural tools. In my toolbox. (sees something) Many sandwiches! Excellent. Men like sandwiches.
Help yourself. Really. (then) So what brings you so early, your macho-ness?
I got that soldering wire you wanted. For Buffybot's tune-up. Tara plops a plate of pancakes in front of Dawn.
You got funny shapes anyway. Sorry. Dawn is about to respond, but the phone rings. Buffybot cheerily jumps up.
I'll get it- Willow and Dawn both jump after her.
No!
It could be my dad. He said he'd call today.
I'll just say hello. He's my biological ancestor. Buffybot moves for the phone but Willow stops her. Answers.
Hello? Hey Anya. Really? That's fantastic ... Willow turns to Xander.
Anya found that thing. For tonight.
She did? Great.
(listens/then) And you're her Sweet Cookie Face.
(coolly) I go by many names ... Willow finishes with Anya in BG while-
What's tonight?
Just a Scooby meeting. Spike'll be here with you. Willow hangs up, turns to Buffybot.
Maybe you should just let the machine - the... other machine - get the phone from now on, okay?
Is my phone manner not correct?
It's perfect. It's just, we can't take the chance that Mr. Summers might talk to you and know something's wrong.
If he thought that the real Buffy was gone, he could take Dawn away.
And I want to stay here. With you and Willow and Tara. Understand?
I do. I want you to stay as well. You're my sister. Buffybot gives Dawn a heartfelt hug. Dawn accepts it, awkwardly, gratefully... The others watch sadly. They know it's a poor substitute for the real thing. Xander breaks the moment, addresses Buffybot-
So excellent. We're agreed. Sit your roboself down so we can get to work. We need to fix up those fighting skills, pronto.
Actually, we've got bigger worries than her fighting skills today.
Way bigger.
I guess. Depends how highly you prize punning.
I'm serious, Xander. Buffybot is about to face her most dangerous challenge ever. EXT. DAWN'S SCHOOL - COMMONS AREA -DAY CLOSE ON A BANNER THAT READS - "WELCOME TO PARENT/TEACHER DAY!" We pan down from the banner to find Buffybot and Dawn wandering among a bunch of parents, teachers and students who are gathered in an open area of the school. There are many exhibits of student work on display - art and science projects and the like. Buffybot is taking all this in with good-natured interest, while Dawn looks extremely nervous.
(to Buffybot) Okay. we'll make a quick lap so people can see you're here, then we'll- Buffybot stops at an exhibit, a student-made miniature city. It's all egg cartons and popsicle sticks. Another kid, a CUTE BOY about Dawn's age, also examines it ...
What is this?
This is our city of the future. I made the hover cars. They're orange juice cans, see?
They're very nice. But I don't understand... Now a TEACHER, an eager young sort, jumps in.
We're reading Walden. This is the kids version of a utopian society. You'll notice there are no schools and an extraordinary number of pizza parlors. Genuinely puzzled, Buffybot examines the city.
I don't know of a breed of humans this small. Who's going to live here? A beat. The CUTE BOY shoots Dawn a look-"what's up with your sister?" Dawn realizes this has to be played off as a joke and starts laughing way too enthusiastically.
Oh, God. She's always like this. Still laughing a little desperately, Dawn pulls Buffybot away from the table. Calls to the teacher-
Come on, wacky Buffy. See you Mr. Davis! INT. DAWN'S SCHOOL - CLASSROOM - DAY Now Dawn, looking seriously anxious, and Buffybot sit in a classroom along with a number of other students and parents. A somewhat stern-looking teacher, MS. LEFCORT, is addressing them.
(mid-speech) ... as you can see, we provide the best in progressive learning. But we can't teach your child unless you do. As parents, you have a responsibility to create the right attitude. To teach them what school can mean- Buffybot shoots her hand up. Dawn tries desperately to get her to put it down before Lefcort sees her - but it's too late.
Ms. Summers? Buffybot stands up. Declares proudly--
School is where you learn. A beat. Ms. Lefcort barks-
Exactly. Parents let kids focus on school as a social experience, rather than a learning experience. We want you to get your kids as excited about education as they are about lunch hour- Buffybot pipes up again. Dawn looks like she wants to die.
I helped make lunch today.
Oh?
Before school. Peanut butter and Jelly. I don't eat, but Dawn takes one everyday- Now a PARENT pipes up.
Tell me about it. My kid is brown bagging it, even though I paid for the lunch program.
It's true. Something has to be done about the quality of the food! Stirred up, now all the parents chime in with "yeahs!" and "you said it!" Buffybot sits, smiles. Dawn sweats. INT. MAGIC BOX - DAY Giles is at his desk, which is piled high with papers that he 's sorting through. There are a few moving boxes around. Xander and Anya are dusting and moving inventory.
(re: paper he's holding) Anya - this register report for January looks off. Let's pull those files again. Anya moves to him - genuinely concerned.
Are you mad at me?
Mad? No, I just-
(cutting him off) Then why are you torturing me? I punished someone like this, you know, when I was demon. I made them doublecheck spread sheets for all eternity.
I'm sorry if you resent my thoroughness, but I won't be comfortable leaving here until- Anya pulls something from one of Giles, boxes. A small carved statue.
You're taking the Ramadan Effigy? Giles grabs it away from her.
It's not inventory. It's part of my personal collection. Anya grabs it back.
Oh ho! Aren't you Mr. Dicey Semantics? So now you can just take whatever you want? Giles tries to grab it back but Anya holds on. They get into a tug-o-war. Complete with hand-slapping.
Give it!
No, you give it- Xander comes up. Taking in this display. Finally-
Okay. When I'm marvelling at the immaturity? Be scared. (to Anya) Anya. Giles is leaving the store to you when he goes. What more do you want?
I am not "leaving" the store to anyone. I will be in England, not dead, and I'll still be a partner-
A silent, overseas partner-
Who you should be very nice to unless you want to end up working at Video Hut. Anya stops, smiles tightly and goes back to the table she was working on. Xander follows. They speak in hushed tones.
What are you doing? What kind of gratitude is that?
(contrite) I know. I know. It's just - he keeps saying he's going and then he doesn't. And I keep almost being in charge, and then I'm not. And maybe he shouldn't be going at all, but we can't talk about that - and it all leaves me with this stress and bossiness stored up and it just leaks out.
Give it time, An. This is hard for all of us. You need to be patient.
I was being patient but it took too long. I mean, I miss Buffy, I do. But life shouldn't just stop because she's gone. I'm sick of waiting to take over here and I'm sick of waiting to tell everyone about us. Xander's tone gets even more secretive.
We've talked about this We can't announce our engagement while things are so up in the air.
Why not? It's happy news. Happy news in hard times is a good thing.
It is, but ... If things go as planned - everything could be different. Let's just hold on.
That's what you've been saying all summer-
Please. Anya. We'll know more after we talk to Willow and Tara tonight.
Fine. Whatever. Just remember, this marriage thing was your idea. I didn't ask to be all crazy. She huffs off. Xander watches her go. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Spike and Dawn are hanging out. Dawn is finishing the last of a pizza and filling him in on Buffybot's performance at school.
... so my homeroom teacher, Ms. Lefcort? Was like - "your sister is an example to us all." She wanted to make it National Buffy Day.
Makes sense.
It does?
Yeah. She responded to Buffybot because a robot is predictable, boring... A perfect teacher's pet. That's all schools are, you know, factories spewing out mindless little automatons-- (quickly) -who go on to be very productive and valuable members of society. And you should go. Because Buffy would want you to. They both react a little to this mention of Buffy. Dawn tries to power through it.
Check. One mindless automaton coming up.
So what do you fancy, bit? Game a rummy?
Willow and Tara said they'd be back early. You don't really have to hang. I mean, if you're bored.
I'm not. And yeah I do.
But I'm fine alone. It's not like anyone's coming after me. I'm not the key - or if I am, I don't open anything anymore. It's over, remember? He remembers all too well. Just talk of this past darkens Spike's mood. His failure to save her and Buffy burns at him.
I'm not going to leave you here by yourself. So forget it.
I'm just saying- Spike slams a deck of cards on the table. A little too harshly.
No. I'm not leaving you to get hurt. Not again. (then) Now deal. Dawn takes this in. Really getting the depth of Spike's regret. She slowly takes the cards, starts to deal. EXT. SUNNYDALE STREET - NIGHT A pretty girl walks quickly down the street - and she's scared. Something is following her. Something in the shadows. SCHMUCKY THE BAIT. WOOSH! She's grabbed and dragged into the alley. She screams but THE SHEMPY VAMPIRE who has her in his grip covers her mouth. He bares his teeth - makes his move...
Don't be scared. The victim and the shempy vampire looks up. See Buffybot.
(to victim) I'm going to kill him. Scared, the shempy vamp releases his victim.
Slayer...
(still to victim) You can run away now. The victim does as she's told. But the shempy vampire also makes a break for it.
(to vamp) Not you. Buffybot takes off after the vamp, who violently SHOVES A DUMPSTER at her, trying to block her way. But Buffybot JUMPS UP AND LANDS ON THE DLIMPSTER. She runs across the top of it and leaps off it - flying at the retreating vamp and tackling him. They struggle for a beat but Buffybot bests the vamp with a few well-landed blows. But as she moves to stake him, the vampire grabs a bottle off the ground and SMASHES IT ACROSS BUFFYBOT'S FACE. It opens a serious gash on her forehead, exposing her inner WIRES AND ELECTRICAL CIRCUITRY. Freaked, the vamp yells and squirms out from under the distracted Buffybot.
You're - you're a machine- Buffybot gets up unsteadily.
Thank you... The vampire starts to back away. Buffybot follows, but lists to one side and walks into a wall. However, she doesn't seem to understand that she's malfunctioning and calls after the vampire-
Stop! The vamp watches Buffybot bounce off the wall, walk back into it. Bounce off it again.
Vampire beware! The vampire grins at her incapacity - takes off. Off Buffybot, still hitting that wall. Like a kid's toy stuck in a corner. INT. XANDER'S APARTMENT - NIGHT Willow, Tara, Anya and Xander are gathered in his couch area. The mood is somber and tense. Everyone is on edge. Willow holds the urn, examines it gravely.
The Urn of Osiris.
You really found it.
It wasn't easy. I went through every supplier The Magic Box has.
(alarmed) You used a Magic Box supplier? What if Giles finds out?
He's too busy not leaving to pay attention to me. Besides, I ended up getting it on E-Bay.
(disbelieving) You found the last known Urn of Osiris on E-Bay?
Yeah. From this Desert Gnome in Cairo. He drove a hard bargain, but I finally got him to throw in a limited edition Backstreet Boys lunch box for -- Xander coughs very pointedly, cutting her off.
-- a friend. Tara looks at Xander. Willow doesn't seem to have heard.
You got your somber on, Will. The urn not up to spec? Willow looks to Tara. They share an understanding.
It's the one. She turns to Xander and Anya.
Which means it's time.
It's time? Like, time time? With the… timeliness?
Are you sure?
I am.
Mercury's in retrograde, and we have -- do we have everything?
Just about.
But why the sudden rushy-rush? Did the bot blow her cover at school?
No, she did great. She impressed all the teachers.
And they still thought it was Buffy?
Tomorrow night. We'll meet here at--
Whoah! Let's apply the brake and check rear and side mirrors here! This is deep stuff, Willow. We're talking about raising the dead.
And it's time to stop talking. Tomorrow night, we're bringing Buffy back. A beat as this sinks in. BLACK OUT.
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| Act Two |
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INT. XANDERIS APARTMENT - NIGHT Just where we left off. Deep cabal. Everyone sits up a little, fear and adrenaline pumping.
Tomorrow.
I don't know...
Discovery Channel has monkeys. And our tape machine's sorta wonky--
Guys. I need you guys on board here.
It just ... it feels wrong.
It is wrong. Willow shoots her a look -- didn't expect that.
It's against all the laws of nature and practically impossible to do but it's what we agreed to. If you guys are changing your minds--
Nobody's changing their minds. Period.
Excuse me. Who made you the boss of the group?
You did.
You said 'Willow should be boss.'
And then you said 'Let's vote' and it was unanimous.
You made her that little plaque that said 'BOSS OF US,' you put on sparkles--
Valid points all. But we -- I mean, we were just talking then...
I can do this, Xander. I promise. But not without you.
Should we maybe tell Giles? Now that we're really ready? It's not like he's going anywhere -- ever...
No. No one else can know. Not Giles, not Spike, not Dawn. They might not understand--
And if something does go wrong--
I'm telling you it won't.
Scenario: We raise Buffy from the grave. She tries to eat our brains. Do we, 'A': congratulate ourselves on a job well done--
This isn't Zombies, Xander.
Zombies don't eat brains anyway. Unless instructed to by their Zombie masters. Lotta people get that wrong.
This isn't like Dawn trying to bring back Mrs. Summers or anything we've dealt with before . Buffy didn't die a natural death. She was killed by mystical energy.
Which means we do have a shot.
It means more than that. It means we don't know where she really is.
We saw her body, Will. We buried it.
(getting worked up) Her body, yeah, but her soul, her essence -- that could be somewhere else, trapped it some Hell dimension like Angel was. Suffering some eternal torment that we can't even imagine just because she saved us and I am not gonna let her... (near tears) ...I'm not gonna leave her there. She collects herself, faces off with Xander.
It's Buffy. A beat.
What time do we meet? INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Willow enters to find Spike hovering over Buffybot, whose injury looks even worse in the light.
Willow!
What happened? Where's Dawn? Buffybot walks into a side table, knocking over a vase which Spike catches.
Dawn's fine. She's upstairs in bed. But it seems the bot here got into a scrape while she was on patrol.
I think my feet are broken. Willow moves to Buffybot and helps her to sit.
Looks more like a short in the navigational system. (to Spike) Can you get me the flashlight? It's in the kitchen. Spike calls over his shoulder as he heads for the kitchen.
She wanted to go out again and look for you, but I figured there are enough things in Sunnydale that go bump in the night ...
Good thinking-
But my homing device locates you when I'm injured. I'm programmed to go to you.
I know. Still, just this once it was a good idea to stay put. Spike was right. Spike returns with the flashlight just in time to see Buffybot looking sweetly at him.
I'm sorry I questioned you, Spike. You know I admire your brain almost as much as your washboard abs. Spike's face clouds at this. And it's a big, dark cloud.
(to Willow) I told you to make her stop doing that.
I did. I mean, I thought I got all that stuff out of the program-
Well, you've got her opened up - fix it.
Sure. I mean I've got a lot of work here, but I'll see what I can do. CLOSE ON WILLOW As she grabs her laptop and moves to attach a cable from it to a portal in Buffy's side. Then-
(then) Can you point the flashlight here? (nothing) Spike? But she's answered only by a door slam. Spike's gone. Buffybot registers distress.
Did I say something wrong?
No. It's not your fault.
I think Spike stopped liking me.
That's not true. He thinks you're swell.
Then how come he never looks at me anymore? Even when he's talking to me? Willow takes this in. She can understand why he doesn't.
He just gets cranky. Like vampires do. (then) Now just relax... She says this next a little too intently. It's clear she's talking more about the real Buffy than the bot.
I'm going to make you good as new. I promise I am. FADE TO: INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - DAWN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT It's late. But Dawn is awake, staring at the ceiling. A long beat, then she climbs out of bed. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - HALLWAY/BUFFY'S ROOM - NIGHT Dawn pads through the hallway, looks in on Tara and Willow, who sleep soundly. Then she moves into Buffy's old bedroom. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - BUFFY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Dawn enters Buffybot's room and we see that Buffybot is fully repaired and lies on the bed, inert and recharging. A panel on her side is opened up and a thick black cable stretches from it to an outlet. Another cable runs from a portal in her leg. A beat as Dawn takes in the eerie replicant. Then she lies down next to Buffybot, moves close, body to body - tries to take some comfort there ... FADE TO: INT. MAGIC BOX - TRAINING ROOM - DAY Giles is sparring with Buffybot, who is back on her feet and looking good.
Splendid. But let's try it once more, and this time remember your breathing. They go again. Anya comes in catching the tail end of their exercise.
(to Buffybot) Good. Now, think of the breath as "chi." Air as life source- Buffybot stops, perplexed.
I don't require oxygen to live.
Of course. Strictly speaking, but- Now Anya moves into the room. She's not unkind when she says-
Maybe you'd better stick to the standard drill. You don't want her to blow another gasket.
I'm testing her responses after her injury. I don't see how it can hurt to impart a little Eastern philosophy...
I just think the concept of "chi" is a little tough for her to grasp. She's not the descendant of a long line of mystical warriors - she's the descendant of a toaster oven.
I appreciate your input, Anya, but I think Buffybot has responded quite nicely to our sessions.
(forced pleasant) Well, you're the boss. Still. Anya leaves. Giles looks a little deflated.
Would you like to test me again?
Maybe we should call it a day. Your responses look fine. They move off the floor and start putting their stuff away.
Perhaps Anya's right. I'm trying to teach you as if you were ...
A human?
Yes.
But I like your teaching. Every slayer needs her watcher. This stops Giles. Buffybot's innocent face gazing at him...
I'm not so sure about that.
What do you mean?
Nothing. (then) I just can't help but wonder if she would have been better off without me. Buffy.
I don't think that's true. You were very helpful to her.
Right. I was the perfect watcher. Now bitterness creeps into Giles' tone.
And I did what any good watcher does. I got my slayer killed in the line of duty.
It wasn't your fault-
Of course not. It's how every slayer-watcher relationship ends, isn't it? She's gone. I did my job.
(innocently) Then why are you still here? Giles takes this in. It hits hard. Why indeed? EXT. BIKER BAR - DAY A run-down biker joint on a lonely highway someplace far from town. A long line of heavy-duty motorcycles are lined up in front of the place. INT. DEMON BAR - DAY The place is teaming with DEMON BIKERS (including some CHICK BIKERS), who sport jackets that identify them as THE HELLIONS. In eponymous fashion, they are drinking and cursing, yelling and spitting... Some of the regulars look intimidated, particularly the females, who have to endure the Hellions' crude passes. Other customers seem to enjoy the chaotic energy the Hellions bring. Among them we see THE SHEMPY VAMP who fought Buffybot earlier. He's drunk now and mouthing off to a Hellion named MAG and some of his friends.
... so I've got her cornered in this alley, see?
(disbelieving) You've got the slayer cornered.
Yeah. I figured, it's my duty, right? She's a menace to our society. So we fight - and I'm like - BOOM, BOOM, BOOM! I got her on the ropes- The impatient Hellion grabs the shempy vamp's neck with a meaty hand. Squeezes.
You lying to me? Shempy scrambles, trying to win back his audience.
I swear on all that's unholy! You haven't even heard the best part. I cut her, right? And she's, I don't know, some kind of machine. She's not human. Mag, confused, releases the Shempy Vamp.
You're high.
I'm telling you - it wasn't even the slayer, man. It was like a trick. A robot. A beat - then Mag grabs the vamp again and DRAGS HIM over to a back booth, where the leader of the pack, a demon called RAZOR, sits with his entourage. Razor is a little bit Marlon Brando in "The Wild Ones" - a little bit Darth Maul. And a lot scary.
What's with the blood rat?
(to vampire) Talk.
(nervous) Okay. See, I was over in Sunnydale, minding my own beeswax, when I see the Slayer- The Hellion shakes the vampire, hard.
The part about the robot.
We fought, right? And I was all over her - BOOM, BOOM- Mag cuts him off, running out of patience.
He says the slayer's been replaced by some kind of machine-
A robot, yeah! And I kicked her synthetic ass. You shoulda seen the sparks ... Now RAZOR stands out of the booth - HE'S HUGE.
You're telling me there's no Slayer in Sunnydale.
That's what I'm saying. They've got some kind of decoy standing in for her. The town is wide open. Mag nods. Liking the sound of this.
Nowhere like the Hellmouth for a party. There's all kinds of bad in that place.
Yeah. With your muscle you could own it in no time. And, look, I know you guys don't usually let vampires join the gang and I've got the whole- (makes quotes) "sunlight issue"- but I was thinking, as thanks for the 411, you might let me throw in with you- Razor silences him by quickly RIPPING HIS HEAD OFF with his bare hands. The Shempy vamp dusts.
I'll think it over. Razor wipes the dust off his hands… Looks to the rest of his bad-ass gang, who have all gathered around.
Let's ride. EXT. DEMON BAR - DAY LOW ANGLE As Razor and his gang TEAR OUT OF THE BAR and JUMP ON THEIR BIKES. They peel away from the bar, PAST CAMERA, all sound and fury. Heading for trouble. BLACK OUT.
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| Act Three |
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EXT. WOODS - DAY Golden afternoon light sifts through the woods into a peaceful clearing. We see some movement through the trees, and WILLOW appears, holding a velvet satchel. Her expression is grave, focused. She kneels in the grass, opens the satchel ... Removes a small vial, which contains some mixture of spell ingredients. She scatters the contents of the vial on the ground, while chanting...
Adonai, Helomi, Pine... Adonai, Helomi, Pine... The gods do command thee from thy majesty... Now there is a rustling in the woods. Something moving there.
O Mappa Laman, Adonai, Helomi ... Come forward, blessed one, know your calling... Now, into the clearing, steps a beautiful young FAWN. Drawn by the spell, it slowly walks to Willow and bows her head submissively. Willow, moved by the creature, reaches out and strokes her tenderly. We only see the KNIFE Willow holds momentarily as it flashes in the light. Then it disappears into the deer. The fawn cries and bucks in Willow's arms. Willow, holding on, can barely contain her own pained emotion as the creature dies ... A stunned beat. Once the creature is still, Willow, her clothing now red with blood, pulls another vial from the satchel and fills it with the blood of the deer. She chants, her voice shaky now, as she sprinkles the body of the fawn with another potion.
Adonai, Helomi, Pine... Divine creature, child of Elomina, accept our humble gratitude for your offering. In death, you give life. May you find wings to the kingdom. Off Willow, contemplating the fallen animal. Contemplating what she's just done. INT. MAGIC BOX - DAY Tara, Xander and Anya are now gathered in the Magic Box. Tara turns at the sound of the shop bell to see Willow enter. Willow's changed clothes - no evidence of her earlier activity remains.
Hey. You're late. Willow's attitude is completely casual. The others are clearly not aware of what she's just done.
Oh, I had to get that thing.
Giles isn't around. You can dump the cryptic.
The last spell ingredient.
Okay. Right. What is "Vino de Madre" anyway?
"Wine of the Mother." Kind of... black market stuff.
Black market? You didn't tell me that. You shouldn't have gone alone. It could have been dangerous.
Sorry. I didn't ... I was careful.
It must be something pretty intense. The black market is all baby teeth and spooky fluids.
All I know is - we have to have it to do the spell. Which makes it good stuff in my book. Willow turns to Xander and Anya now, changing the subject.
How come you guys are here, anyway? I thought we weren't meeting up until later.
We weren't, but it felt too weird hanging out on our own.
It's better that we're together.
You got butterflies, baby?
More like bats.
Would you like to look at the money? I find it calms me.
That's okay. Thanks. Willow moves to Tara. Puts her arms around her.
Tell the bats it's going to be alright. I promise. We couldn't be more prepared.
I know. I just wish it was time. I can't stand worrying about it anymore. Anya discovers something behind the counter. Looks up amazed.
Well, it's your lucky day then. I have something to distract you. Anya moves to them holding a piece of paper. She hands it to Xander, who reads it and reacts with surprise.
What?
(reading) "I've gone. Not one for good-byes, I thought it best to slip out quietly. Love to you all, Giles." Off their stunned faces. INT. AIRPORT WAITING AREA - DAY Giles waits for his flight in a typically sterile airport. He sits, hands folded. Lost in thought.
You really think we'd let you get away with that? Giles looks up to see Willow, Xander, Tara, Anya and Dawn all lined up in front of him. He's touched, but contains it.
Well. I was trying to avoid a scene. Willow holds up a hastily written sign with balloons taped to it. It has a big heart on it and it reads - "BON VOYAGE, GILES!" Says a little ruefully-
Like we'd make a scene. He smiles, but they can see how difficult this is for him.
Not you. Me.
We brought you lovely parting gifts. See? She hands him an apple snack pie.
It's American, get it? Apple pie. To remind you of all the good things you won't be eating. Now Tara hands him a little plastic monster finger puppet.
And a monster. Kind of a Sunnydale souvenir, we thought. Grrrr. Argggh. Xander is next, all eyes go to him -- but his hands are empty.
I wanted to buy you a can of Old English 800. 'Cause, you know, of England and you... And 'cause it sounded funny at the time but the guy living in the box in front of the store wouldn't buy it for us.
We got your presents at the gas station. We were kind of in a hurry. (gives him a card) And we made this in the car. That's why the letters are all shaky. Giles takes it. Reads it. Looks away.
This is ... impossible, really.
We just wanted you to know we'll be okay. We'll miss you - but we'll be okay.
And I'll take very good care of your money. Giles laughs. Grateful for the opportunity.
I have no doubt. A voice over the P.A. system rings out-
Attention passengers, flight 3982, leaving for Los Angeles and continuing to London. Rows 20-30 are boarding from gate A6.
That's me.
Now? God, we just made it...
Just, yes. A beat. They all stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to do next. Then-
Come on now, if we're going to do this, let's do it properly. Giles hugs Anya, Xander and Tara each separately as another boarding announcement rings out.
Attention passengers, final boarding for flight 3982 for Los Angeles and London at gate A6. Please come to the gate with your boarding passes ready. Everyone's keeping it together, but there's an undercurrent of serious sadness here. Giles hugs Dawn, says--
I'm a phone call away, if you need anything. You must promise me.
I do. I promise. Finally, Giles turns to Willow. The hardest goodbye of all. They hug, then-
Willow. I don't know where to start ...
(near tears) Maybe you shouldn't. I'm trying to be stiff-upper-lippy.
Right. Right ... Giles looks at them all, just as torn as he feared he would be. Willow sees this, bails him out.
You'd better get going. Don't you have a life or something?
I suppose that's the question, isn't it? Giles starts hastily stuffing their gifts in his bag. Then he turns to the gang, tries to come up with any sufficient words. Can't.
Just - be careful. Please. And he moves off to the gate - not looking back. The scoobies watch, wave... And when they can no longer see him, their expressions fall. EXT. AIRPORT - DAY Giles' plane flies overhead. The gang watches it, now openly upset by his sudden departure.
There he goes.
Good thing. My face hurts from faux smiling.
(distressed) It was right, though, wasn't it? Giving him the no-tears send-off ... We don't want him going off all worried about us.
He'll still be all worried, just eight hours ahead.
What's he going to do over there by himself? He never talks about people in England. What if he's lonely?
He won't be lonely. He lived there before, remember?
And I'm sure we'll talk to him all the time. Right? It's not like he's... She stops. Upset. Too much loss piling up. Now Tara moves to her, puts her arm around her.
We'll call him tomorrow. How about that? See how his flight was ... Tara leads Dawn off, still talking to Dawn softly. Willow, Xander and Anya purposefully hang back.
Can you believe the timing? He's leaving right when we're doing- (eyes Dawn) The thing. Tonight.
I know. I was hoping we'd figure it out before he left.
Maybe we should have said something to him. What if it works?
He'll come back. Xander looks at the sky.
It'll be dark soon.
Let's get Dawn home. I want to go over everything one more time. Nothing can go wrong tonight. EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT The open highway. Razor leads a pack of demons, who roar down the road on their hogs. (or motorcycles. Motorcycles would be better.) They pass, a sign that reads "WELCOME TO SUNNYDALE." We see the lights of Sunnydale ahead. EXT. BUFFY'S GRAVE IN WOODED AREA - NIGHT It's a still night. Buffy's grave is nearly hidden in a stand of trees in the farthest reaches of a cemetery. Tara, Xander and Anya all stand around the grave holding black candles. Willow holds Urn of Osiris and some spell ingredients. The mood is dark and tension is running high. They all tremble with a potent mix of fear, anticipation and cold.
Does everybody have their candles?
Mine won't stay lit. It keeps going out.
Well, make it stay. It has to- Anya struggles to light her candle as Tara cuts Willow off.
(to Xander) What time is it?
One minute to midnight. Less.
Come on, Anya. Do you have it?
Oh God... (candle lights) Got it!
Start the circle. Now. Willow kneels on the grave while Xander, Anya and Tara kneel around her in a circle - holding their candles aloft. Now Willow begins to mix spell ingredients into the urn, including the blood of the deer she slaughtered. She starts to chant.
Osiris, keeper of the gate, master of all fate, hear us. Now she dips her finger in the blood mixture and anoints herself with it. Forehead, cheeks ... In the light of the candle, the effect is somewhat nightmarish... Now Willow pours some of the blood on the ground, making a symbol.
Before time and after, before knowing and nothing... Now WILLOW'S VOICE changes, growing LOWER, OTHERWORLDLY.
Accept our offering. Know our prayer... Suddenly, Willow stiffens and catches her breath. Quick, deep CUTS suddenly appear on her arms - as if an unseen knife is slicing her. Tara and the others react with horror.
Willow! Xander starts to move to help her - but Tara stops him, despite her own obvious fear.
No. She told me... She'd be tested. This is what's supposed to happen- Now Willow shouts-
Osiris! Here lies the warrior of the people! Let her cross over! Now something RISES UNDER WILLOWIS SKIN, bumps the size of large beetles race inside her body... Xander again reacts-
She needs help!
Xander. She's strong. She said not to stop, no matter what. If anything b-b-breaks the cycle now - it-s over- NOW A DISTANT RUMBLING FILLS THE AIR Everyone reacts to the ominous sound.
Oh God. What's that noise? Off Xander, Tara and Anya, terrified. EXT. SUNNYDALE MAIN STREET NIGHT Sunnydale's Main street is quiet and peaceful at this hour. But then we hear an ominous rumbling... Suddenly the street is invaded by RAZOR and the rest of the HELLIONS, who ride in on their bikes. They tear around the street breaking windows - beginning what promises to be a long night of mayhem. CLOSE ON A STORE WINDOW As a molotov cocktail shatters it and the place IGNITES. BLACK OUT.
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| Act Four |
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EXT. BUFFY'S GRAVE IN WOODED AREA - NIGHT We're back in the woods. Xander, Anya and Tara are trying to hold it together while Willow endures the unseen creatures still skittering under her skin.. Her voice is a little weaker now as she cries-
Osiris! Let her cross over! Now all the bumps under her skin move together and form ONE LONG ROPE-LIKE FORM. It starts winding her way up her chest and INTO HER THROAT. Willow starts to gasp and choke.
Oh God... Oh, God... Willow is grasping at her throat now, unable to breathe. She falls forward - gripping the earth on Buffy's grave as if it will steady her. Suddenly, her mouth opens, as if forced by an invisible hand. Then A SNAKE HEAD APPEARS IN HER MOUTH. Tara SCREAMS and Anya and Xander react with equal horror. The snake slithers out of Willow's mouth, it's long body winding out of her... Finally, Willow cries out as she draws a desperate, shaking breath.. Tara is beside herself, trying to let the spell play itself out as Willow wished.
It's a t-test. It's a test ... OFF WILLOW Despite the pain she's in, she's unwavering. This is a supernatural battle and she's not giving in. INT. BUFFY''S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Dawn is asleep on the couch, a throw blanket tossed over her... Spike sits in a chair nearby, only half watching the old movie that plays on the television. Then that ominous rumbling starts again. Spike sits bolt upright, goes to the window. WHAT HE SEES Outside a number of demons. pass on their motorcycles. One of them tears up a neighbors yard, shatters a window with a rock... Rides on. BACK ON SPIKE As he takes this in. Behind him, Dawn stands, bleary eyed. She moves to the window - sees the chaos outside.
What's going on? Spike quickly moves her back a few paces.
Stay away from the window. Spike heads to the door. Locks it. Dawn is right on his heels.
What is it? What's happening?
Just do as I say. (then) I'm going to check the rest of the house. Don't move. Spike heads off, leaving Dawn looking small and scared. EXT. SUNNYDALE MAIN STREET - NIGHT Demons are running down both sides of the street, engaging in some serious vandalism. Store windows are broken - alarms are going off everywhere. CLOSE ON THE DEMON MAG Who is leaning through the shattered window of an electronics store and stealing everything in sight.
That doesn't belong to you. Mag turns, DVD player in hand, to see BUFFYBOT standing nearby. He snarls.
Put it back or- But she's cut off as Mag drops the DVD player to the ground and opens his mouth - emitting an eerie, high pitched wail .. It's clearly some kind of signal to the other demons in the area .Everyone stops, including RAZOR, and moves to Mag. Buffybot is surrounded. Razor steps close to her, examining her carefully...
Slayer. I've been hearing interesting things about you.
(matter of fact) Yes. I am interesting. (then) Are these your friends?
They're my guys, yeah.
Good. Tell them to get on their loud bicycles and go back to wherever they came from-
Or what? You'll electrocute us? Razor SLAMS her with a brutal uppercut. Buffybot falls back into a group of demons.
Hold her! They do. Surprised, Buffybot struggles but is momentarily restrained by two demons. Razor reveals the reason for his moniker when he raises his hand and FOUR SMALL SWITCHBLADE-STYLE CLAWS SPRING FROM HIS FINGERS ... Razor SLASHES BUFFYBOT deeply across the upper chest, revealing her robot inner workings.
You're nothing but a toy. A pretty toy... Now he moves closer, menacing.
Wanna play? Buffybot marshals her strength and KNEES RAZOR. Then she FLIPS the demons who hold each of her arms.
I would, but you injured me. I have to report to Willow. A brief fight ensues. Buffybot manages to drop Razor with a few well-landed blows, then knock back the rest of the demons trying to hold her. She takes off running. Razor climbs to his feet.
Get her! The demons run for their motorcycles and take off after the retreating Buffybot. EXT. BUFFY'S GRAVE IN WOODED AREA - NIGHT The spell is gaining momentum. Tara, Xander and Anya are now huddled together - helpless as they watch something that is clearly out of their control. Willow is bucking in the middle of a crackling RED SWIRL OF ENERGY. It's clearly draining her life-force, taking everything out of her... But still, she shouts-
Osiris! Release her! Now a horrible RUMBLING sounds from the forest. A beat, and BUFFYBOT appears.
Willow - I need service! Everyone reacts as RAZOR, MAG and THREE OTHER DEMONS, all on motorcycles, crash through the woods. They are hyped, ready to rampage. Chaos. The mystical energy continues to hold Willow as the demons, whooping and hollering, descend all over them, chasing Buffybot, tearing up the ground around the grave. CLOSE ON A motorcycle as it destroys the spell circle. Then we see The Urn of Osiris, which rests on the ground. One of the motorcycle demons RUNS OVER IT, shattering it. The rest of the BLOOD MIXTURE from the urn seeps into grave. ON WILLOW Who sees this.
No!! Suddenly, the energy around her disappears. As if the spell has been stopped dead in it's tracks. Released, Willow crumples to the ground. Unconscious. ON TARA, ANYA AND XANDER Tara reacts to Willow's collapse.
Willow- She tries to run to Willow, but MAG rides in and blocks her path. Then he circles Anya and Tara, cutting them off from Xander, shouts to the others-
Look what I found! ON BUFFYBOT Who is too engaged fighting off demons to be of any help. ON XANDER Who sees that the fallen Willow is in the path of an oncoming motorcycle. He dives and grabs her out of the way in the nick of time. The he sweeps , her over his shoulder and runs into the woods for safety. TARA AND ANYA Have been chased deeper into the woods. Mag SWEEPS Anya into his arms and starts to ride off with her. Tara sees this, DOES A SPELL.
(Latin) Dissolvo! (English translation) Release! A quick hit of magical energy makes Mag drop Anya. Tara grabs Anya and helps her run off in another direction. EXT. IN THE WOODS NEAR THE CLEARING - NIGHT Where Xander now runs with Willow over his shoulder. He's laboring and stumbling in the dark. Finally, when he's a safe distance from the demons, he lays Willow down. She stirs, eyes half open. Xander sees this.
Willow, are you okay?
Did it work? Xander looks back toward the clearing, where the demons laugh and ride over Buffy's grave.
I - I'm sorry. Willow takes this in. Closes her eyes. Disappears into unconsciousness. Xander looks around desperately. Unsure what to do next. We transition by PANNING STRAIGHT DOWN, into BLACK. INT. BUFFY'S COFFIN - NIGHT Now we are INSIDE BUFFY'S COFFIN. We can SEE BUFFY'S CORPSE. Suddenly, ITS EYES SNAP OPEN and the corpse MORPHS back into LIVE BUFFY. Then her breath starts to come fast, horrified... BLACK OUT.
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