INT. BUFFY'S DINING ROOM/KITCHEN - NIGHT

Christmas dinner. Or what's left of it, the carcass of a fine bird lying amidst the clutter of largely emptied dishes. Christmas decorations highlight the room, which is lit softly with candles and Christmas lights. (The kitchen is similarly lit -- the whole atmosphere is warm and homey).

Around the table sit BUFFY, Anya, Dawn, Xander, Willow and Tara, with Joyce and Giles at the heads of the table. Joyce, Giles and Buffy are rising, the meal finished. (The plates are gone except for Xander who's still picking, and Giles, who will carry his into the kitchen.)


JOYCE
I think we're just about ready for pie.


XANDER
And then I'll be pretty much ready for barf!


BUFFY
Xander!
(to Joyce)
I'll give you a hand.


DAWN
(over Buffy)
Gross!


XANDER
No, no, barf from eating, 'cause all
was good, and too much goodness --


JOYCE
I'm taking it as a compliment.


GILES
Yes, everything was delicious...

Much assent from the crowd.


ANYA
Yes, I'm going to barf too!


JOYCE
(affectionately sarcastic)
Everyone's so sweet.

She, Buffy and Giles exit as the dialogue continues:


XANDER
How're you doing there, Will? Are you
in the barf club?


WILLOW
I had too much nog.


TARA
Oh, baby, do you want me to rub your tummy?
(to Xander and Anya)
She likes it when I... stop explaining things.

This has passed over Dawn's head -- she looks in her nearly empty glass of nog.


DAWN
My nog tasted funny. I think I got
one with rum in it.


WILLOW
That's bad.


XANDER
Yeah, now Santa's gonna pass you right
by, naughty boozehound.


WILLOW
He always passes me by. Something
always puts him off. Could be the big
honkin' menorah.


TARA
(to Dawn)
Did you write him a letter?


XANDER
What'd you ask for?


DAWN
Uh, guys, hello? Puberty? Sort of
figured out the "no Santa" thing.


ANYA
That's a myth.


DAWN
Yeah.


ANYA
No, it's a myth that it's a myth.
There is a Santa Claus.


XANDER
Advantage of a thousand year old
girlfriend. Inside scoop.


TARA
There's a Santa Claus?


ANYA
Been around since, like, the 1500's.
I mean, he wasn't always called
Santa, but, Christmas night, flying
reindeer, coming down the chimney --
all true.

Everyone is quietly blown away by this.


DAWN
All true?


ANYA
Well, he doesn't traditionally bring
presents so much as, you know,
disembowel children, but, otherwise...

As they take this in...


TARA
(meekly)
Well, the reindeer part was nice...

---

INT. WILLOW'S DORM ROOM - AFTERNOON

ANGLE: TARA

Framed close in front of the window. Staring at something. Still there is no sound but scissors.

ANGLE: OVER TARA TO WILLOW

Willow is in a camisole and skirt. She has clearly been crying for some time, though she is not now. She is staring at a blouse she holds up on a hanger, not seeing it. The cutting has stopped.

INT./EXT. XANDER'S CAR - AFTERNOON

ANGLE: ANYA

Still no sound. Anya sits in the passenger seat, looking out the window. In her own world.

ANGLE: XANDER

Driving. Also alone, also has been crying, though not as much as Will. His jaw is set in quiet anger.

ANGLE: FROM WILLOW'S WINDOW LOOKING DOWN

From a couple stories up, we see Xander's car pull to a stop, double parked.

INT. WILLOW'S DORM ROOM - AFTERNOON

Tara looks over her shoulder, down at the car.


TARA
I think they're here.

She looks back at Willow, who is still staring at the blouse. Willow finally sets it down on the bed, where we see many other discarded choices. Goes back to looking in the closet.

---

INT. WILLOW'S DORM ROOM - CONTINUING - AFTERNOON

Willow emerges from the closet with two blouses. One is dark purple, one is bright and perky, maybe with an animal on it.


WILLOW
What do you think? The purple,
right? 'Cause it's somber, it should
be something somber. No, it's
depressing, it's like I'm a
funeral... guy.
(re: other blouse)
This is cheerier -- maybe I want to
be cheery, like everything is normal,
but that's rude, it's disrespectful,
la-la-la I don't care...

She tosses them on the bed.


WILLOW (cont'd)
If I had that blue one, Joyce really
liked the blue one, she told me one
time... You're sure it's not in your room?


TARA
I can look again...


WILLOW
No, I think... I should wear the purple,
I think the purple, it's just that
it's so, I don't know... it doesn't
mean something bad?


TARA
I think it's royal. Purple means royalty.


WILLOW
Well I can't see Buffy at the morgue
and be all royal! "Oh, I'm the king
of everything, I'm better than you..."
(tearing up again)
I have to be supportive, Buffy needs
me to... why do so many of my shirts
have stupid things on them? Can't I
dress like a grown up, can't I be...
be a grown up...

She's crying now, shaking, and there is a manic pitch and rhythm to her speech that indicates she's going to go off again...

Tara comes at her and holds her, takes her head in her hands...


TARA
Shhh...


WILLOW
Tara...


TARA
Shhhhhh, darling...


WILLOW
I can't do this...

Tara pulls her close, to stop the shaking. She kisses her, on the mouth and again on the cheek, looks close into her eyes. She speaks softly, Willow answering her with almost a little girl's quaver...


TARA
We can do this.


WILLOW
Okay... We can be there for Buffy...
and Dawn... little Dawn...


TARA
We can be strong.


WILLOW
Strong like an Amazon?


TARA
(with a small affectionate smile)
Strong like an Amazon, right...


WILLOW
Okay...

She's steady.


WILLOW (cont'd)
I wish I had the blue.

---

INT. COMMONS STAIRCASE - CONTINUING - AFTERNOON

Xander and Anya enter by the bottom of the stairs and head up (We see down the staircase, not the whole commons.) They pass a few oblivious students, going about their days.


ANYA
So what do we do?


XANDER
I'm not sure. Willow talked to Giles.

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE WILLOW'S DORM ROOM - CONTINUING

They come through a doorway at the top of the stairs, head for Willow's.


ANYA
But, what will we do? What will we be
expected to do?

He doesn't have an answer, so he doesn't bother to give one. They come to Willow's door, which is slightly ajar. Xander raps and it swings open.


XANDER
Hey...

The two step in as

INT. WILLOW'S DORM ROOM - CONTINUING - AFTERNOON

The girls come to the door to greet them. (Willow has an entirely new blouse on, and a cardigan over it.) Willow and Xander hug, the other two hang back. Everyone greets everyone, more with nods than anything else.


XANDER
How are you doing?

Willow just shakes her head. Can't answer.


XANDER (cont'd)
I know the feeling.


WILLOW
I'm afraid I'm gonna start crying again,
and I don't wanna.. but maybe I should
get it out of my system, so I don't do
it in front of Buffy.


ANYA
Xander cried at the apartment.
It was strange.


WILLOW
(only slightly acerbic)
It's a thing we do.

A beat.


XANDER
This is so totally wrong. This is
just so... it's wrong.


ANYA
What's going to happen?


WILLOW
I guess we're gonna meet them at
the morgue. That's where they
were taking her.

She pauses, and Tara takes over for her:


TARA
Giles said that he was gonna go with
Joyce and Buffy was going to... to
school. To tell Dawn.


XANDER
God.


TARA
(to Xander)
Do you know how to get to --


XANDER
Yeah. It's at the hospital, it's a wing.
(beat)
We do morgue time in the scoobie gang.

Another beat.


WILLOW
I have to change.

She pulls off her sweater and tosses it by the window, starts taking off her shirt, moving behind the closet door to pick out something else and put it on.


XANDER
(to Tara)
What else did Giles say?


TARA
Not a lot.


XANDER
Are they sure this was... natural?
I mean, Glory...


TARA
Giles is pretty sure it wasn't her.


XANDER
But I mean, she said she was gonna
come after Buffy's family --


TARA
I don't think --


XANDER
(overlapping)
I mean we should be going after her, I
mean she could have done it and, and
covered her tracks.


WILLOW
(re-emerging)
Why would she? She'd want us to know.

Another beat, as the logic sinks in. But:


XANDER
I'll tell you what it is, it's the
frickin' doctors, I mean they just
let her out, you know, "clean bill a
health, dig a hole in your skull
here's a band-aid NEXT!"


ANYA
Xander...


XANDER
Am I wrong?


WILLOW
They said there could be
complications --


XANDER
Complications? Seems pretty simple to
me. They shoulda checked her over,
they shoulda had her in, what, she's
got a clot? We don't have enough
monsters in this town the doctors
gotta help 'em out?


WILLOW
I don't think anybody's...
it just happened.


XANDER
Things don't happen! I mean they don't
JUST happen. Somebody's... I mean
somebody's gotta...

His hands are clenched.


WILLOW
Okay.

She raises her little fists, matter of factly getting ready to box. Her face sweetly resigned.


WILLOW (cont'd)
Let's go. You and me.
(moving her fists)
Come on...

He deflates. She drops her fists and he leans in, kisses her forehead.


XANDER
You know I can't take you.


WILLOW
Damn straight...

A moment between them, then:


ANYA
Are we gonna see the body?


WILLOW
(flinching)
What?


ANYA
Are we going to be in the room with
the dead body?


WILLOW
I don't know! No.

To break the tension, Tara offers:


TARA
But I guess we can take over patrolling
and all that.


XANDER
Yeah --


WILLOW
Oh yeah --


TARA
For however long...


WILLOW
We gotta help out. There's gonna be a
lot of things... We gotta make
everything easy as possible on Buffy.


XANDER
You know it.

Beat. A few looks to the door -- but nobody moves toward it.


WILLOW
I can't wear this.
(to Tara)
I really should have the other...
Joyce liked it so...


TARA
Do you think you could have left it in
the laundry room?


WILLOW
Maybe...


TARA
I'll go check.
(to the others)
I'll be one minute.


XANDER
We're cool.

Tara exits. Xander tries a shot at justifying his reluctance to go:


XANDER (cont'd)
I mean... I don't know if we
should rush right in or, you know...
not crowd 'em.


WILLOW
Yeah.


ANYA
Are they gonna cut the body open?


WILLOW
(appalled)
Oh my god will you shut your mouth?
Just not open it please?


ANYA
What am I doing?


WILLOW
How can you act like that?


ANYA
Am I supposed to be changing my clothes
a lot, is that the helpful thing to do --


XANDER
Guys...


WILLOW
The way you behave --


ANYA
Well nobody will tell me --


WILLOW
Because it's not okay for you to be
asking these things!


ANYA
But I don't understand!

Something in her tone stops Will, and as she continues, she breaks down more and more...


ANYA (cont'd)
I don't understand how this all
happens, how we go through this,
I mean I knew her and then she's,
there's just a body, I don't
understand why she just can't get
back in it and not be dead, it's
stupid, it's mortal and stupid,
Xander's crying and not talking and
I was having fruit punch and I
thought that Joyce would never have
any more fruit punch and she'd never
have eggs, or yawn, or brush her
hair, not ever and no one will explain...

She's crying now, she's real small, Xander comes to hold her but she moves away, plops herself down in the weird round chair. Xander retires to his corner, frustrated.


WILLOW
(softly)
We don't know. How it works. Or why.

She is herself overwhelmed. She sits, not looking at either of them. The three stay that way a moment, alone.

Anya, now just sniffling, feels something digging into her back. She pulls out a stuffed animal and with it a blue shirt. She looks at the shirt a moment, then tosses it in an open drawer. Willow never sees it.

In fact, she could probably sit there looking into the floor for another half hour, except for the sudden loud SMASH of broken wood and plaster.

She jumps, looks up, as does Anya...


XANDER
Sorry. Sorry.

He has slammed his fist against the wall, and as Willow comes around to look, we see --


XANDER (cont'd)
Just some pent up...


WILLOW
Xander...

-- that his fist has gone right through the drywall and is stuck in there.


WILLOW (cont'd)
Where'd your hand go?

Anya rises, also approaching.


XANDER
As I was saying, some frustration, and
now... I appear to be stuck.


ANYA
Oh my god! Is your hand okay?


XANDER
Pretty much. I'm really sorry.

Willow and Anya try to pick away at the drywall and wood behind, so he can pull his hand out.


ANYA
What if you hit an electrical thing?
You... are stupid!


XANDER
And once again with the sorry.


WILLOW
Did it make you feel better?


XANDER
For a second there.


WILLOW
A whole second.


XANDER
In my defense, some crappy
wallmanship here.


WILLOW
Yeah, you can hear everything
next door...


XANDER
Who did the drywall on this place?


WILLOW
I always forget to ask.

Tara enters, takes in the scene.


TARA
Did I miss something?


ANYA
Xander decided that he blames the wall.


WILLOW
(to Xander)
Can you turn your wrist...


XANDER
Hold on...

She pulls a chunk of drywall off and he slowly extracts his hand. His knuckles are bleeding.


ANYA
Ohh...


XANDER
It's okay.

CLOSE ON: XANDER'S HAND

A moment, as they all look at the blood slowly begin to swell and drip.


TARA
It hurts.

He looks up at her, knows she understands.


XANDER
(smiling softly)
Yeah.


WILLOW
Wash it off. Here.

He goes to the sink.


ANYA
Band aids?


WILLOW
Underneath.

Anya gets them, applies a couple after Xander rinses off the wound.

Tara turns meanwhile to Willow.


TARA
I couldn't find it.


WILLOW
It doesn't matter.

Her attitude is different -- Xander's slight crisis has both relieved and focused them all.


WILLOW (cont'd)
We should get there.


TARA
Yes.


WILLOW
I wanna be there for Buffy.

Tara smiles reassuringly at her. Squeezes her hand.


XANDER
You're right. Avengers got to get
with the assembling.

As he speaks, Willow mouths soundlessly at Tara: "I love you".


XANDER (cont'd)
We'll go. We'll deal. We'll help.
That's what we do. We help Buffy.

A moment of resolution, slightly popped by:


ANYA
How are we going to help?

No particular answer. They file out. A moment, and Willow rushes back in.

ANGLE: HER SWEATER

Is by the window, where she tossed it. She grabs it, and the camera moves off, out the window looking down at Xander's car, just as the meter maid rips a ticket off, sticks it behind his wiper and drives off.

---

INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - CONTINUING - NIGHT

Which scene is the greeting process, everyone together, scoobies, Buffy, Giles, Dawn, the hugging and kind words, which though whispered, ring out in this empty, surreal space.


XANDER
(hugging Buffy)
Anything we can do...


DAWN
(hugging Tara)
I'm glad you guys came...

DISSOLVE IN as Willow is hugging Buffy.


WILLOW
I love you so much...


BUFFY
I know...

They pull apart, Willow wanting to say something about Joyce...


WILLOW
And...


BUFFY
I know.


DAWN
(to Tara and Xander)
They're not telling us anything.

 

---

INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - NIGHT (CONTINUING)

WILLOW
Why don't we sit down.

She puts her hand to Buffy's arm, leads her to a seat. Tara and Willow sit as well, flanking Buffy. The others stand, including Dawn, who throws a look back at:

ANGLE: THE HALLWAY

That leads to the morgue proper.

She turns back to the others. Xander gives her a squeeze. She's a little stiff -- in her own world, like Buffy.


BUFFY
Giles is gonna go over the paperwork.


XANDER
Man, if there's one day they should
not give you homework...


WILLOW
Dawnie, do you wanna sit?

Dawn shakes her head.


BUFFY
I don't think we'll have to stay here
very long.


DAWN
But what about --

She stops.


BUFFY
What about what?


DAWN
Nothing. I have to pee.


BUFFY
Do you want someone to go with you?


DAWN
No. I still remember how to pee.


BUFFY
Well, okay, do you know where --


DAWN
Yeah.

She takes off.


BUFFY
I think maybe she's mad at me
or something.


WILLOW
'Cause you're the one that told her?


XANDER
How'd she take it?


BUFFY
Meltdown. She just, wouldn't believe
it. I don't know if she does now.


TARA
She's been through so much this year...


WILLOW
You both have.

A beat.


ANYA
(blurts out)
I wish that Joyce didn't die.

Everyone is made momentarily uncomfortable.


ANYA (cont'd)
Because she was nice
and now we all hurt.


XANDER
Anya, ever the wordsmith...

But Buffy isn't offended, sincerely saying to Anya:


BUFFY
Thank you.


WILLOW
(to Buffy)
Do you want anything? Something to
eat, or a soda?


BUFFY
Maybe... I honestly can't tell.


WILLOW
I think you should try to eat
something...


BUFFY
Well, maybe Dawn could use a snack...


WILLOW
I'll see if there's something. Xander,
do you have any money?


XANDER
We'll come with.


WILLOW
We'll be real quick.

She gets up, heads off, Xander taking Anya by the hand and going as well.

This leaves Buffy and Tara. There are a few beats of silence, a tiny bit uncomfortable.


BUFFY
I'm sorry you have to go through all this.


TARA
You don't have to worry about me.


BUFFY
Everyone wants to help... I don't
even know... if I'm here... I don't
know what's going on. I've never
done this -- Well that's just an
amazingly dumb thing to say,
obviously. "I've never done this
before."

A small beat.


TARA
I have.

Buffy looks at her, a little thrown.


TARA (cont'd)
My mother died when I was seventeen.


BUFFY
I didn't know that. I'm sorry --


TARA
No, no, I didn't mean to -- I'm only
telling you because, it's not m-my
place, but... there's things, thoughts
and reactions that I had, that I
couldn't... understand, or even try to
explain to anyone else. Thoughts that
made me feel like I was losing it, or
like I was just a h-horrible person.
I know it's different for you, because
it's always different, but... if you
ever need...

Buffy nods, gratefully. Tara retreats into herself a bit, thinking she's perhaps gone too far.


BUFFY
Was it sudden?


TARA
What?


BUFFY
Your mother...


TARA
No.
(thinks a moment)
And yes.
(beat)
It's always sudden.